In my last post, I discussed my fear of change regarding who I was and how I had been defined most of my adult life which was as a plus-sized girl. I'd spent fifteen years or better poking fun at my size, gathering chuckles and calling attention to my growing body before anyone else could even think it. I knew where to shop, what size to buy and now to accentuate this while hiding that. The fear I had of dropping below 200 pounds was scary, for sure. "What if I plateau here, what if I can't do this anymore, what if I GAIN weight." I couldn't stand the heartbreak I would feel if the scale ever tipped above 200 again, after all the hard work I'd put into this.
So I went for it.
I blew through the 190's and am down to 184. :) I just bought a pair of size 10-12 shorts, though that's them being VERY kind to me, because I'm wearing 14's for the most part. (I'm in between 14-16 right now.) I'm 9 pounds away from my goal weight of 175. This is the weight I wanted to get to, then evaluate how I felt about myself and if I wanted to keep going. 9 pounds away. When I started this journey, I had 61 pounds to lose. I thought "I'll never get there. This is a pipe dream. Grab the Oreos and get comfy." But one pound at a time, with patience and determination, 52 pounds- the equivalent of my 6 year-old son is no longer on my body. And boy, does it feel GOOD.
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson
