Accountability

I balked at the idea that I needed someone to hold me accountable for a long time.  I argued that I was strong-willed and disciplined enough to get it done, since "I hold myself to such high standards."   Yet I continued to let myself down and would eventually give up.

I tried the online programs."Jot this here- record this there." It wasn't enough.  I needed an actual physical person to hold me accountable.

Enter Casey G.

I think God put us on the same path at the same time knowing we'd need each other to pull through the tough times in the weight-loss valley. (I mean, let's face it.  This is a MAJOR life change!)   There were moments when I felt like a mule being pulled by a rope.  When things got hard, when schedules got tested, when anything even remotely when sour, I mentally wanted to give up.  In those moments of weakness, I wasn't thinking about how much I was letting myself down; I was thinking about how I would be letting her down.  I had the desire; I had the motivation; and then I had a teammate that was counting on me just as much as I was counting on her.

In the beginning, it was a necessity for us to schedule our workouts together- it held our feet to the fire.  As busy as we both are, we made it work.  I am very grateful for that, because since we laid that firm foundation, my workouts have become an important part of my life- not just in a physical way.  It is excellent stress-management for me and an excellent way for me to take my frustrations out in a positive manner.  I NEED my workouts almost as much as I need my morning coffee. LOL. 

My challenge to you this weekend is to think of someone you have discussed your weight dissatisfaction with and see if you can get together just one time this weekend for 30 minutes. 
The other challenge I have for you is get dressed and get those tennis shoes within 15 minutes of waking up.  That makes a HUGE difference in my day.  (Why, I don't know. Just try it. LOL) 

Let's do it!

A Few Nuggets of a Non-Chicken Variety ;)

What I have posted thus far was essentially how I got started in my weight loss journey.   I was surprised to discover that it's not just about working out, and even more surprised at how long it took me to discover this.  For me, there are many things involved when it comes to being successful in weight loss. I had to:

• Determine my daily caloric allowance.
• Learn how to read labels.
• Learn what "real" portions were.
• Drink more water. (It was harder than it sounded. LOL)
• Learn how to take care of my body, my mind, and my spirit. 
• Recognize what was happening when I wanted to lay into an emotionally-propelled binge.
• Educate myself on proper exercises that target all muscle groups and learn which exercises will give me the most "bang for my time."

It was very frustrating in the beginning, because I WANTED to go head-first into action. But I had learned from all of my previous "binge-changes" that doing it all at once was just a great exercise in setting myself up for failure.  I'd go buy all the right foods, and they'd expire (or rot...lol) before I even knew what to eat when and how to prepare it.  I bought books, exercise videos, joined gyms, and hit the floor running before I even knew what I was doing. I failed to recognize how my emotional eating and my negative attitude toward my ever-growing body was hindering my progress.  So, I started THIS journey by educating myself first, then I slowly made changes where I knew I could (portions, drink choices, etc.

I was incredibly overwhelmed when I read any type of "diet" meal plans, because frankly, who really eats like that??  Many of the diets out there are difficult (for me, anyway) to follow or aren't meant to become life-long eating plans.  (I don't consider any diet that eliminates an entire basic food group healthy.)  What works for me is knowing what foods I like and how to find the healthier choice.  For example: I love pasta. It broke my heart to think I had to give up pasta.  Then, I discovered whole wheat pasta, and there's very little difference in flavor or preparation, but a big difference in the nutritional value. I also had to learn how to eat properly so I can use this for the rest of my life.  After a basic study of food, I wrote down foods that I liked and were healthy choices in a little notebook, and I carried that with me everywhere I went. (I still have that, actually.)  It had meal plan options and caloric value, which made life much easier for me, especially when I was grocery shopping or eating at a restaurant. 

I encourage you to make a list of some of your favorite foods.  (Entree's, sides, breads, desserts, drinks.)  Google them and look up the nutritional value, then write it down somewhere.  You may find (as I did) that while a certain food may be low in calories or fat grams, the sodium or sugar per serving is outrageous!  You may find that your favorite sandwich is only 260 calories with the fixin's and then you'll feel EVEN BETTER about chowing down on it!  If you are an avid condiment user, take a look at the serving size and calories per serving.  Those little calories sure add up in a hurry. (This includes sugar/creamers for coffee, FYI.)

Have fun with it.  Think of yourself as a CSI agent on the prowl for clues to solve a big weight-loss mystery.  See if you can identify 200 "hidden" calories in your current eating plan that you were unaware of.  You're doing great!! Keep it up!

PS:
Tonight, after my workout, I found myself in the kitchen scanning the cupboards before I even realized what I was doing. (I was searching for something sweet, and a lot of it.)  I didn't have anything readily available which gave me a moment to stop and ask myself why I was feeling this way.  I was hungry, yes,  but what I was looking for wasn't a means of nourishment...I was on the verge of a binge.  I was angry when I got home because I failed to respect my calf muscle injury and played volleyball anyway.  I wound up injuring it again, and though it's not bad, it's still a set-back.  My frustration level was high, and subconsciously, I was about to self-medicate with bad food choices. So, I had a cup of Cheerios with skim milk (180 calories).  I'm satisfied, I've calmed down, and because I made a healthy choice, I won't be mentally beating myself up all night.  Win/Win!

My absence

I apologize for my absence and hope to be back up and running soon.  In the meantime, I hope you have been reading labels, monitoring how many calories you are taking in, and getting a little exercise daily.  Don't forget to write ten things you like about yourself today.

LET'S DO IT!

OK, I am feeling back to normal now, so I'm ready to hit it again with full force. Tomorrow will be my first day back in the gym and I CANNOT WAIT!!!  I'm so jazzed up, I can't hardly sit still. I've been mentally envisioning myself lifting weights and doing cardio for the last two weeks, and tomorrow, I actually get to do it.  BLISS!!

I hope in my absence you have kept up with the great work you began before God popped me upside the head.  One of the things I have learned on this journey is there are countless people who can help me along the way, but ultimately it is me, myself, and I that will either get it done or not.  My workout partner can plan a helluva workout for us, but if I don't show up or give her 100%, then truly, I'm only cheating myself.   Since I have spent my adult life cheating myself in many areas, I figure it's about time for me to start taking myself seriously and getting it done.

Now, that being said: self-discipline does not come easy for me; I have to hold myself accountable ALL THE TIME.  And, I have my inner voice that just pisses me off really.  She'll twitter in my head "get your shoes on...get your shoes on...get your shoes on..." until I just throw up my hands and go get my darn shoes.  Then it's "Where's your water, where's your water, where's your water?" And so on, and so on.  My favorite is when I'm DYING to have a taste of something completely sinful and delicious, she throws the last visual of my weight on the scale to the BLINDING forefront in my mind's eye.  To keep my own personal level of annoyance at bay, I try to do these things before she wakes up. ;)

So, it's a beautiful day outside.  I challenge you to a twenty minute soul-cleansing walk.  It doesn't have to be brisk or even elevate your heart rate today.  My challenge to you is clear your mind.  Take deep breaths.  Get re-centered and get  your head back in the game.  Refocus on what is important.  For twenty minutes, I want you to stroll around the block and chase any negative thoughts out of your head.  Positive thoughts in, deep breaths out. 

If you're ready to roll tomorrow, wake up, get dressed in your uniform to the shoes (no house shoes or flip flops...) find (and fill) your water bottle, and schedule exercise times for yourself.  I challenge you to two twenty minute sessions tomorrow.  And, don't worry. I'll be right there with ya!

Get off the mat

I have had my fair share of hard knocks in the last year.  I have had torn muscles, dislocated ribs, the flu, respiratory infections, hives, and my latest fiasco- an infection in a gland in my face and a TMJ flair-up.  (I know, I said the same thing. "Huh?")  I had an allergic reaction to one medication, then another reaction to the antibiotic. It seems every time I really hit my groove in my weight-loss journey, whammo... I'm slapped down to the mat, and I have truly contemplated at times just staying down.  This time, I have spent a little over a week on the mat; however today,  I find myself getting to my knees.

Sometimes I wonder if these types of challenges are deliberately put in front of me.  I am a firm believer in "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger"  and just when I think I have nothing more to give, I am forced to dig deeper and push through.   I expect these types of challenges in life, my career, parenting, etc, so it should come as no surprise that they manifest in my weight-loss journey as well.  Yet, I am surprised -discouraged, overwhelmed, irritated, pissy, what-have-you, when these obstacles knock me down. But, perhaps that's just God's way of asking me over and over again, "Are you serious about this?"  I feel He allows me to go underwater at times so I will truly appreciate the big deep breath when I resurface.  And, I think He smiles and says, "Well done." when I do. 

I also wonder if God slows me down when I refuse to do it for myself.  I may have my head down, trudging forward and have no idea that there's a semi veering out of control a quarter of a mile down the street.  Maybe he shoves me into the ditch to keep me from being plowed by the truck. Scraped knees are easier to heal than broken bones.  I don't know.  Maybe I was working too hard in the gym and was facing an injury, so God slapped me upside my head and laid me up for ten days to allow my body the rest it needed.  (And, it very well could just be that "stuff happens" and we go from there.) 
 
And that's my point.  Today, I start from here. I have my jug of water sitting on my desk; I have updated my blog, and I have watched my caloric intake today.  Exercising isn't something I can do just yet, but just for today, I have made an effort to get off the mat.  And tomorrow?  I just might get to lace up my shoes.