The Boat

You've heard me talk about roads, oysters, the mat, my bridge, the x factor, and the foxhole, so it should come as no surprise that I have yet another use of imagery to describe my life and where I'm at right now.  Tonight, it's the boat. 

In the last three years, I have been through quite a bit that has left me feeling off-center and unsure of who I am and what I want/need out of life.  The sea of life has been very tumultuous and unforgiving in the ferocity of the waves as the crash down on me relentlessly.  I have experienced the occasional calming of the storm only to see in the distance another swell heading my way, and I have given myself no time to repair my vessel or even prepare before the next hurricane spins me around.

In the midst of my last hurricane, I found myself focusing so much on the storm that I failed to look at how it was effecting me and my boat.  I had left it unmanned, basically, and was being tossed around aimlessly while waiting for the storm to either subside or swallow me whole.  I became frightened of dark clouds, wondering what the next clap of thunder was going to bring.  A tiny ripple in the water left me quaking with uncertainty. 

Then, a little over two years ago, I saw my sunbeam.  And I headed that direction.  Even though I still felt the instability beneath my feet, I made my way to the helm.  The storms were still fierce, but I had that vision of light to guide me.  I learned how to weather the storm with trust and faith that I was going to be OK. I learned how to be courageous when I was scared, and I found the gear I needed to protect myself. 

And now, I need to examine my boat.  I need to see if the damages are superficial or if there are some major repairs in order.  So, I've got my toolbox and my owner's manual, and even though I don't know the first thing about boat repair, I know that I have the confidence in myself, the determination, and desire to stay afloat.  And, I can still see my sunbeam.