Neon Sign

Sometimes when I am going through a hard time or spinning on the latest dramatic event in my life, I forget to appreciate the little things.  Or, even worse,  I think I did something, but since my mind is racing 90 miles an hour about everything unrelated, it never actually got done.  I have actually envisioned myself writing a check to the school for my daughter's lunch then got offended when her balance dropped into the negative, only to discover I never actually wrote the check.

Last Monday was my birthday, and a few days later, I actually remembered to check the mail. In the mail box, in her perfect script, was a card from my sister, Lisa.  In my haste to get dinner on the table and start my evening routine, I glanced over the card, smiled, and tossed it to the side while making a mental note to call her and thank her.  About 5 days later, I was cleaning and came across the card again. My inner voice said, "Read it again and keep this card."  I got nudged from all sides that there was something special about that card, but I was again going mach 10 with my hair on fire and dismissed that notion.  I moved that card several different times and finally decided I should just throw it away.  "Keep the card, Tami."  In my head, I thought I had put it on top of the microwave or on the refrigerator.  In reality, I threw it away.

Today, I received an email from her saying, "Did you like the card?"  I responded and said I did, (though I couldn't remember what it said) and that I tried to call her.  But, one quick flip through my phone determined I only thought I did.  Then she shared the meaning behind the card. 

My brother-in-law, Lisle, lost his sister, Laurie a while back, and he had actually bought that card to give to his sister for her birthday.  He never got to give it to her, because she died before her birthday rolled around.  Lisa said that he has been having a hard time letting go of anything pertaining to his sister, but this year, before my birthday, he came out of the room with the card in his hand and said, "I want to send this card to Tami. It's a beautiful card, and a sister we love needs to have it."

When I read that email, I was so touched and so disappointed in myself for not heeding those nudges to keep and treasure that card.  I knew in my heart there was something special about it, but I disregarded those feelings and focused instead on all of the chaos going on in my own head.  I was certain I had thrown the card away, and today was trash day. And I never even thoroughly read it.

As I drove down my street, I stared at the empty garbage can in my driveway, and my heart sank. I raced upstairs to find a freshly-emptied trash can in the kitchen.  I went downstairs and walked by another example of what I thought I had done this morning but had merely done it in my head... there was a bag of trash sitting by the laundry room.  It was the "catch all" bag I'd been using to empty little cans everywhere around the house and purge other stuff that had passed the point of use-fullness to me.  I took a chance, and at the bottom of the bag was Lisle's card to me. (And Laurie)

I cannot express the relief and gratitude I had when I held that card in my hand.  And, I was moved to tears when I read it. I was honored and humbled. 
 
I am so grateful for the following lessons.  Lesson #1- God nudges me and tries to get me to see and appreciate the little things.  Lesson #2- Being locked up in my own mind continues to rob me of good things happening all around me.  Lesson #3-  Thinking about doing things and actually doing them are two very different things.  Lesson #4- Sometimes the smallest of gestures have the greatest depth and should never be taken for granted.  Lesson #5- SLOW DOWN and be grateful; next time, I might actually lose something to be treasured.