Visiting a Foreign Land

I heard an interesting talk show this morning on the way to work. The host was explaining his trip to a foreign country and the effect it had on him.  He described his conversation with a young child, and something he said really struck me.  He said, "We had to have a translator, of course, because this kid can't speak English."  Can't speak English?  You're in his country! He's speaking the language he knows!  It's YOU that can't speak HIS language. 

And then it struck me.  I find myself getting irritated or self-righteous at times at alllll the tempting food, all of the opportunity for bad food choices, and I want to yell at them, "Why are you doing this to me? Can't you see this is already difficult?"  But you see, I'm in their land!  Just because I have the desire to change my eating habits and exercise more IN NO WAY prompts the rest of the world to adjust to my lifestyle.  In this world of fast food, pre-packaged goodies, high-calorie DELICIOUS beverages, it takes a  lot of discipline to keep on walking with a gracious "no, thank-you."

And let me just say, I don't always get it right. But, I keep trying.  For example: (I'm laughing even as I'm typing this...)  I work with all men in my department, and they've seen the transformation and how hard I've worked.  They don't say much (typical males), but I know they're proud of me.  I came to work Monday complaining about being sore from my workout Sunday.  Later that afternoon, I had a sugar craving and bought a bag of chocolaty goodness. I will not tell you what it was, because I am not going to be responsible for triggering any cravings out there. LOL.  Anyway, I was eating them at my desk, and one of the guys said, "Damn, girl, I thought you were trying to lose weight! Why are you eating those?!"  Which of course triggered my already-existing guilt.  So I whipped around and said, "Well thank you, Richard Simmons, for keeping an accurate calorie watch for me."  He stared blankly at me for a few seconds and said, "Well, you're the one that wants to lose more weight, and you've done such a good job thus far.  I don't want to see you go the other way after you've worked so hard." 

I was not offended by David's comments to me, because I knew where his heart was. (And let's face it. Men + Communicating Feelings= Train Wreck 99% of the time...LOL)  In fact, it brought me to another realization which I can sum up pretty quickly:  Talk the talk, as you walk the walk.  What a great reminder for me!  And, it also made me feel really good that someone outside of my circle is silently cheering me on. :) 

So here's what I've noticed about myself this week.  I have pinned down two emotional triggers that prompt me to eat.  Anger and loneliness. This isn't much of an awakening for me, since I pretty much knew that already, but I was ECSTATIC when I recognized I was on the verge of a binge and why.  That's progress. I was able to stop and recognize that I wasn't hungry; I was trying to fulfill my needs with food. 

I've also noticed that my sugar cravings are back. Around the same time every day, I get that "OMG...NEED SOMETHING SWEET NOW!!!"  mission.  In order for me to get rid of that, I will have to go about 4-7 days without anything sweet. Purge my body of it, basically, or "detox" as Casey and I call it.  So that's my next mission at hand.  I bought two packs of sugar-free gum a few nights ago, and I've got my water (which I chug when I'm craving something sweet.), so hopefully I can report back with good news.  One of my favorite quotes is:

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
 and not tackle my whole life problem
 at once. I can do something for twelve hours
 that would appall me if I felt that I had to
 keep it up for a lifetime.

 

When I apply this to my journey, I know that I can go 12 hours without a cookie.  To think of never having another cookie in my life?  BRING ON THE HYPERVENTILATION BAG!  So, I'm not going into deprivation mode, here... not going to say "this is the last____".  But, just for today?  Yeah, I can do that.